My Eternal Love
by tatelangdonaddiction
Summary: Violet and Tate's thoughts after spending two years without each other
1. Make them go away

Violet:

It's been almost 2 years but I still remember like it was yesterday. The last time that I've seen him, the last time that I've touched him, the last time that I've kissed him. And the last words that I've said him_. Goodbye, Tate…_ And I never see him again. I've seen some other ghosts that I didn't even know if they were in the house. I even have to see Hayden every day. But I never see him. Well, I wanted that, I told him to go away, I told him goodbye. But deep down I know that I'd never wanted to do that. I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to stay and tell me that there is a way to forget all those things. But there is none. I was ready to forgive him about all those kids he shot, about the gay couple but... I can't forgive him, I just can't forget what he did to my mother. I wish we could just went back 2 years before, I wish we never moved here, I wish I had never knew him. **NO**. That's not what I want. He is _the best_ and _the worst_ thing that ever happened to me. I love him.. but I hate him, too. I don't know what to do. I'm thinking the same thing for 2 years. It's killing me. I need to get rid of these thoughts.

Tate:

"C'mon, Beau, I can get you out of these chains." But he just shook his head. He's been there so long that he still doesn't want to go downstairs. I spend most of my days to play with Beau. He needs someone, I need someone, someone who don't judge me. Someone who still _love_ me. I don't think Beau would judge me if he'd knew about what I did. I'm trying not to think about her. But it's impossible. Everything reminds me of her, every part of this house, every part of my body. Sometimes I'm just trying to sleep and to dream about her. Both of us, happy and alive. But all I see is how we used cuddle together, her laughter, her body, her eyes, her kiss and her last words. _GOODBYE_. I know I don't deserve her, I know she'll never forgive me, I know I don't have any right to want her but I just do, I want her, I need her. I know it sounds selfish but I don't wanna be alone and I don't want her to be alone. I don't want anything but Violet. I love her, I love her since the first day that I saw her. She is special, she is not like any other person I've known. She was different, she is different. I still remember the day she died. When I saw her lying on the bed unconscious, I felt like each part of my body just stopped. My heart, I swear at that moment, I heard how fast it was beating. My baby, my Violet tried to kill herself and she succeeded and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't save her. I am just a useless fucking killer. The only person that I care about, the only person I love died in my arms. Beau's voice returned me back to reality. Usually, Beau didn't talk too much but he looked at me in the eye and said "Violet loves Tate, Beau knows this." I smiled for a sec. I think this was the only time that I smiled in two years.


	2. I want you

Violet:

"Violet, come here and help me to cheer your brother up." I really love Jeffery. He is the only one in this house who is innocent, pure and completely away from all the bad things. He doesn't usually cry, instead, he always smiles. So, I went upstairs quickly to check if something's wrong. My mom was trying to settle Jeffery down. But he was crying too loud. "Oh Violet, I'm glad you are here, Jeffery doesn't stop crying, I fed him and changed his diapers but he is still crying." I decided to take him. "Okay mom, you go, rest a little bit, I can take care of him." She gave Jeffrey to my arms, despite the fact that he was crying, he was still cute. I took him to my room. I was just moving around in the room to calm him down. Then suddenly he stopped crying and he started to smile. He was looking at the door, so I turned to there. And I saw him, years later, I saw his face. His perfect face, he was making funny faces to Jeffrey. But he stopped when I turned to him. I couldn't say a word. The man I love was standing in front of me but I couldn't say a word and he disappeared. I wanted to talk to him, so badly but I couldn't, I can't no matter how much I love him, I just can't. Jeffery started crying again. It's been an hour and he is still crying. I was frustrated and I could just think one solution. So I called his name, "Tate?" no answers. "Tate, are you here, I need your help." Then there was he, my perfect, adorable Tate was standing right in front of me. But I couldn't speak again. Jeffery broke the silence. And Tate took him from me. When his hands touched my fingers, since I die, I felt the warmth for the first time.

Tate:

I was at the basement talking to Nora, when I heard Jeffrey is crying. "Oh that baby never stops crying." I was so angry at Nora because she wanted that baby in first place and all these things happened because of that. But now, she's just being selfish but I still like her. Then, I heard footsteps, her footsteps, I wished she'd just come here and told me that she forgive me but of course, she didn't. Then she went back to upstairs with Jeffery. I wanted see her with him, how she took care of him. So, I went upstairs to her room. She was trying to calm him down but he didn't keep quiet. Then we came face to face with him. He looked at me with his big eyes. And I started to make funny faces and he smiled. He is the cutest thing I've ever seen. But then she turned to me, Violet, with all her perfection, her eyes wide open, and I understood how much I missed her. I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to but I couldn't because she was just staring at me as if she wanted me to go. So I just disappeared, went back to the basement, with tears in my eyes. I wanted hold her and tell her that I'm always going to be here for her, it doesn't matter if she told me to go away, I just want her right next to me. Damn, I just want her right now, so bad. I wish I could just go and kiss her. But I can't, instead, I sat down and continued crying. Then I heard something. I thought, I was imaging but then the voice got clear. It was her, calling my name. My Violet, my baby is calling my name. I went to her room right away. There was she, my Violet, my precious, looking at me with her beautiful eyes. She is the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. The whole world just stopped for a second. It was just me and her. I don't want to be without her, I don't, I just can't lose her. I have to do something to get her back. Then Jeffrey broke the silence. He started crying again. So I held him into her arms. I touched her. My body shivered with joy and pain at the same time. Jeffrey stopped crying and made little laughter's. It is just three of us now. Like a little family.


	3. I'll always be here

Violet:

_Don't Violet, don't look at him. Don't look how cute he is, don't look how he takes care of Jeffrey, don't look at his beautiful eyes._ Memories, oh my God, _Violet don't, don't remember your memories._ But it was too late. When I look at him, all I can remember is how we used to talk about our future in this room, how we used to cuddle and lay on this bed and how he used to tell me everything's gonna be okay, when we both now it's not going to, but still he was just trying to comfort me. I miss how he used to whisper to my ear that he loves me and I miss the taste of his lips. _**Don't Violet!**_ Said the voice inside me. But I can't help it. 2 years, 730 days without him. All those feelings, they just appear now when he is right in front of me. I hold myself really hard to not to kiss him. I just want to forget everything and be with him. But I can't, whenever I look at him, I saw my mother's face and it's killing me slowly. My heart ached with pain when I feel his touch on my hand. Then, I heard his voice, calling my name, _c'mon Violet you have to hold yourself_, _don't do something stupid_. "I should probably go before your parents come, Jeffrey fell asleep, I don't think he'll cry anymore" he said. _I have to be strong_, I reminded myself. Thank you so much Tate_. Thank you for everything, even though the things you had done, I still love you, I tried not to think about you but all I can think about is you every hour, every minute, I miss you so much that every day I die inside._ That was what I wanted to say but instead I just said "Thank you." And he said his last words and he disappeared. Then, I sat down on my bed and started crying.

Tate:

Jeffrey turned in my arms with comfort. I never thought I like babies but if all of them are like Jeffrey then I like babies. Violet is behind me but I know she's watching me. I am in the same room with her, I can't believe it. My heart is beating too fast that for a sec I thought it will stop. I wanted to tell her I'm sorry not only for the things that I've done. I wanted to say I'm sorry because she stuck in this house with the man she hates, forever. I wanted to say I'm sorry because she never had the chance of meeting a normal guy who deserves her. I wanted to say I'm sorry because she could never see the beauties out there. I felt tears in my eyes. But I didn't cry, I couldn't. I have no right to cry in front of her. I took everything from her. Everything she wished for is gone now. But I'm too selfish to still want her to be with me. My feelings for her, the way she used to look at me, the way I look at her, I just want that to last forever. She is my baby. In every second of eternity I want to hold her and never let go. But there's nothing I can do to make her forgive me. But there's still hope. She needed help and she called my name, she still needs me. I still need her. Maybe I cannot force her to forgive me but at least I'm gonna try. I gave her the time she needed. Now it's time for me to try. Jeffrey slept in silence, so I gave him to her, gently. She didn't look at me in the eye. She just said "thank you." But this time there was one thing I wanted to say before I went. _**No matter what you'll always have somebody here for you, I'm always gonna be here.**_


	4. Don't look back in anger

Violet:

I don't know how many hours I cried cause I fall asleep. I saw him in my dream, well of course it wasn't a dream, it was a memory, when we were sitting at the porch, holding hands, listening placebo (he just listen once and really like them). I want that moment to last forever. When things were simple, when I didn't know about this house, when I didn't know Tate was dead, I was happy. We were happy. We laid down, I closed my eyes, all I felt was his fingers, he ran his fingers through my hair then he touched my cheek softly and came closer to me, he put his arm around me then started to kiss my cheek and my neck. With his every kiss, my body felt complete. Then I turned to him, his face on my hands, I just looked how beautiful he was. The way he looked at me, I thought we'll always have this, each other, no matter what. Nothing can change that, no one can change that. As I remembered, I felt tears on my cheek again. I didn't want to cry anymore. I know I can't love anyone like I loved him**, **_**like I love him**_. _Damn it Violet_, just admit the truth. You still love him and you always will. I can never get over him. He is the first and the last for me. Everyone always thought that I was fearless. Right now, I know I'm not. I'm afraid that I'll forgive him and forget everything he did with only one touch, with only one word. That's way I told him to go away. I am the one who is trying to avoid_. I love you, Tate, I do, please do something and make these thoughts go away, please_.

Tate:

I was going to rip my own head off, if Beau wouldn't hold me. She cried almost for three hours and I couldn't do anything. I told her, I'd never let anybody or anything hurt her but I did that, I am the reason why she was crying for 2 years. I hate myself, I couldn't do anything to relieve her. I am a fucking asshole. How could I hurt the person that I love more than anything. I remembered the day before we went our first date at Halloween. I still remember how excited I was, not just because of I was going to leave the house but because I was going to be with her. There were flowers in the kitchen which Moira collected from the garden. I took one of them for Violet and painted it black. That was the best day of my life. Being with her at the beach, touching her soft and pure lips. Her body around my arms, her lips locked in my lips, feeling her touches in every part of my body. It was more than I could imagine, it was more than I deserved. She is my angel, she is the brightness in me. How could I be so stupid? I'm not gonna avoid her no more. Okay, I'm gonna talk to her, tomorrow, maybe I don't deserve her but at least I'm gonna try. She is no better without me. I remembered her whisper at the beach, she wanted me, lie I wanted her. I still want her and she still wants me, she does. She is worth to fight for. She is worth to die for again and again. It's me and her, Tate and Violet, together for always.


	5. The eyes never lies

_**I recommend you to listen McFly- The Hear Never Lies while you're reading :)**_

Violet:

"Well, but I still don't understand how she forgave him, I mean… I don't know." I was talking with Moira in the kitchen about my mom and dad. "I couldn't understand that at first and I even asked Mrs. Harmon.. Vivien, he is a cheater, how could she even look his face, you know. But then, she explained to me. If two people really love each other, they always find a way to work things out, because they know no matter what they'll always each other" with Moira's words, I felt something in my heart, it wasn't like anything I felt before. I felt the tears in my eyes but I didn't want Moira to see it, so I just said "I have to go" and then I ran to my room. I started crying like I never did before. I wasn't sad or something. I cried to relieve. I cried because I knew I was ready. I am ready to forgive him.

Tate:

"Do you understand Beau, you have to be really loud." I made a plan to talk to Violet. I can't just appear in her room. She might tell me to go away again. So I'm gonna be here in the attic with Beau and he will make loud noises, so that Violet can check him cause she loves Beau. Beau shook his head then he started to jump and scream. He exactly looked crazy but that was what I wanted. I waited for her to come and then I heard the footsteps. She pulled the ladders. My heart was about to stop. And then, she came upstairs, she didn't see me she went directly next to Beau. "What happened Beau, are you alright, did you hurt yourself?" She got panicked and looked Beau's wrists to make sure that nothing was wrong with the chains. Beau stopped screaming and she seemed relieved a little. Then she saw me, I got closer, my Violet, looked me in the eye, but this time it was different, there wasn't any hatred or sadness on her eyes but there was hope. That was all I needed, I hold her face in my hands and press my lips to hers as my tears fell down to my cheeks and I felt hers on my hands.

Violet:

I lay on my bed, thinking like I always did. But my thoughts interrupted by Beau. He was making noises more than usual. I wondered if he was okay or not, so I went upstairs to check him. He was trying to break the chains. "What happened Beau, are you alright, did you hurt yourself?" I was afraid that the chains cut his wrists or somewhere else. But everything looks fine and still he kept screaming. But then he suddenly stopped and started to smile. At first, I thought he calmed down because he realized I was there. But then I saw him, he was at the back. I couldn't hold myself to look his eyes. He came closer, I wanted run away and never look back but I couldn't instead I just stand straight. I looked thoroughly to his eyes with love. I felt my tears but I tried to stop them. Then he came too close that I could feel his breath on my face. He hold my face with his hands. And I let go of myself. When I felt his lips on my lips, I started to cry. It was exactly like the first time that we kissed, pure and passionate at the same time. I felt his tears on my cheek. We stand like that for minutes and when finally we stopped, I touched his beautiful face and wiped his tears. And all I could say was, _"I love you Tate."_


	6. Promise of a Lifetime

Violet:

Without a second thought the words just came out of my mouth. I didn't plan to say it. I didn't even know he would be here. And I really don't know what to do right now. I said "I love you, Tate." And he is staring at me with his big black eyes. But I can't do that, I can't be with him. It's just not right. Then he broke the silence. "I love you too Violet, more than anything. I know I did a lot of bullshit that I can't take it back. I know I don't deserve you and it might sound selfish but all I want is you. Even if I'm dead, you make me feel alive, when I'm with you, the whole world stops and there is only you and me. You're not my past and I never want you to be. Because the old Tate was desperate and that was the reason why he did those things cause there was no other way out. But Violet you're my present and my future. I know it doesn't mean anything to you but I'm changed, I really did. I always knew that I wasn't good person and I never wanted to be. But after I met you, that's all I wanted, I wanted to be a good person and I still want that, cause you deserve it. You deserve someone normal, someone that can take care of you, someone that will love you forever no matter what. And I'm trying to be that man, you know I'll love you till the end of time and I'm trying really hard to be good. And it was easier when you were around. It might sounds ironic but I can't help to feel happy and full of life around you. You bring me joy, happiness and love." I took a deep breath before I started to talk. "Tate, I can't deny that I'm in love with you and I know that no matter what you have done, my feelings for you won't change. But that doesn't mean we can be together. Cause I can't do that Tate, I just can't. I can't live with truths, I can't live knowing that you raped my mother even if you had other intentions. Do you know how hard it is to look at your face? When I look at you, I see the man I love, I see the man that will love me to eternity but also I see the darkness, the darkness that caused lots of pain. I really don't know if I'll be able to be with you again. But I'm gonna try, Tate. But don't except that it will be soon, cause it will take a lot of time." And after all he seemed relieved.

Tate:

Now, I have hope. I know it will take a lot of time, I'm not stupid. But now, there is hope. Violet just told me that she'll try. She's gonna try for me. And I'm gonna help her. I'm gonna be a good person. I'm gonna try to be nice to everyone and I'm gonna take the responsibility of what I did. I'll tell everything to Violet. Why I did all those bad things. I'm not gonna force her to forgive me, but I'm gonna make her to love me again, I'm gonna make her forget. Today's gonna be good day, I can feel that. My baby's just told me that she's in love with me and she'll love me no matter what. After all the things I did. Then I heard Hayden's voice. She was yelling, like she always did. And I just can't stand her voice. And suddenly she got into the room. "You two, young lovely couple, disgusting teenagers making me sick." I didn't Violet to hear those bullshit so I closed the door. "If you have nothing worth to say Hayden, go away." She sighed, "Why? Is it because I am the only one who is telling the truths? You know I'm right Tate, you all trying to live like nothing happened, like you could be happy in this house, but even if you don't want to believe it, you know that it's impossible. You can't be happy in this house, none of us can. It's because of this house, we all stuck here. Let me give you an advice and don't take it bad, if we can't find a solution to get out of this house, we will most likely hate each other all of us. I'm not a bad person Tate, I never was. I was like you actually but I was in love with a man who didn't love me back. And I just wanted to gain his love, nothing more. And look where I am now everyone hates me just because, I tried to be with the man I love. It's not my fault, I thought he loved me. And believe I am not actually that bitchy all the time." And she blinked and disappeared. I actually understand how Hayden feels right now, she is broken. And even if I can't confess to myself, she is like an elder sister that I never had.


	7. All The Truth Hurts

Violet:

After all, I didn't avoid from him, I was just didn't ready to talk. But I didn't run away when I saw him, I just smiled and went away. But after two weeks, I felt ready, ready to see him, ready to talk to him, but not exactly ready to control my feelings around him. Still, I need to know why he did those things, so I searched the rooms for him. Then there he was sitting at my dad's old office all alone, muttering something but I didn't get what he was saying so instead i just said "Hi." He immediately turned to me and said "Violet, I didn't expect to see you, any time soon." He was looking at me with those dark brown eyes. "I can go if you want" I said ironically. He got panicked and said "No, no what's not what I meant, please stay." "Relax Tate, I was just kidding. So what are you doing here alone?" He didn't look at me in the eye, turned to window and said "I am actually alone for two years so…" I felt this terrible urge running through my veins. I just want to cuddle him and say I'm sorry for leaving him but instead I looked through the door and said "Want to go outside, it's raining." And he nodded. We sat at the porch face to face. "I love the feeling when the raindrops fall to my face, it makes me feel… alive." He didn't look at me for a long time and then I decided to ask the question that we both avoiding to say, "I want you to tell me everything Tate, why did you kills those kids and all the other things."

Tate:

"Before telling you the whole story, you have to understand something Violet. I was born in this house and grew up in here. When you spent your all existence in a place like that, you don't actually know what is wrong and what is right you know. And there weren't anyone to show me that." I finally looked into her eyes and she was looking at me with all her attention. "I was pretty messed up at high school, I wasn't like those kids who bullied by popular kids, no, I was worse. I never scared of them in fact I always make fun of them you know, but every time they found a way to break me down. I can accept the fact that they are making fun of me but I never forgive them for what they did to Addie. Addie and I were more than brother and sister, she was the only reason why I didn't kill myself. We've already lost Beau and I didn't want her to be alone with Constance. When I first understood the existence of the ghost, I was just a little kid. I met Nora first, she protected me from Thaddeus and she was always a mother to me, a mother that I never had. For seventeen years, she was always there for me whenever I needed her. But there was also Thaddeus, at first I was terrified, he was scary but then I understood that all he wanted was to be loved, so I just played with him like I played with Beau. But I never understood the effects of Thaddeus on me, until I met you. I did everything he said without asking, he was simply controlling me. Of course it's not an excuse of what I did but still… Anyway, one day when I was going out from school, I saw Addie outside waiting for me. I told her a million times not to come there. When I was walking towards her, I saw those guys, laughing at her. She tried to hide her sadness but then I saw tears falling from her eyes. And one the girls told her look at the freak I think she is crying. And none of them did anything, they just watch and laugh, all of them. Even the teachers didn't say a thing. I took her to home and when we were at dinner, Larry was an asshole, he pretended like nothing happened. So I decided to talk Nora about it cause I was seriously furious. I went to the basement I couldn't find her but instead Thaddeus found me. And I swear to you Violet, I still cannot remember what he told me but the next morning I was on drugs and I went to Larry's office and I set him on fire and I shot those kids. But I was telling you the truth when I said I don't remember shooting them cause for a long time, I couldn't. Maybe because of Thaddeus, maybe other reasons, I don't know. I'm sorry for all the things I've done, I know they didn't deserve to die, I know that but there is nothing I can do about it." I took a deep breath and look at her. She was crying. And then she hold my hand and said…

To be continued.


	8. Can't Help Falling Love With You

Violet:

"It's okay Tate, I understand you believe me I do." When I heard those terrible things the kids did to Addie, I tried really hard to understand Tate. Cause I never had a brother or sister, so it's a little hard for me to understand that kind of love. But I can see that, in all this darkness the only thing that Tate cared about was his sister and brother. So I'm gonna be supportive on this but that still doesn't change the fact about my mother. Even if he did it for Nora, it's just not right and I still need time. He looked at me with his black sorrowful eyes and bumbled something. I didn't get what he said so I turned to him and he was holding my hand so tightly like he never wanted to let it go again. "Please Violet, don't let me go again cause I really don't know what to do without you, remember when I say _you're the only light I've ever known_, I meant that Violet with all my heart, you are making me a better person and I just can't imagine myself without you. When I'm with you it's like I'm completely someone different but most importantly I just want you to know that _When I'm with you I'll make every second count cause I miss you whenever you're not around, when I kiss you I'll still get butterflies years from now I'll make every second count when I'm with you. _I love you so much, more than you can ever imagine more than words can tell, I love you with my all heart and soul and I always will." I didn't know what to say but every part of me wanted to jump on him and kiss him and wanted to say him that he shouldn't be worried cause I will never ever let go of him. But I couldn't and I can't as much as I want to forgive him, there is still this part of me that wants to hate him. "Tate, I'll always be here for you for support and listen but I just can't do anything more, I'm sorry I can't, I just can't forgive you Tate." I felt the tears on my eyes and I didn't want to him to see it, I didn't look at him, I just said "I gotta go" and ran away.

Tate:

She started to walk away from me. _Again. _I can't lose her again, I can't stand it this time, it's too much for me. I can't handle it. _I have to do something, I have to do something!_ My thoughts are killing me, they are eating in my mind. Fuck. I can't think clearly fuck fuck fuck! This shouldn't supposed to happen. My light is turning to darkness again. Why things have to be so complicated, I love her more than anything and she loves me back. I need to get out of these thoughts. I'm still sitting at the porch then suddenly Hayden showed up. "What are you doing here, all alone?" I didn't ignore her cause she was kinda a big sister for me for the past couple of weeks. We were talking about her and Ben and I understood how she feels cause we are actually same and she is in a worse situation than me cause Ben doesn't love her. At least I know that Violet is still in love with me. "I was talking with Violet but she just went away." I bet she heard the miserable moan when I said Violet. "It was that hopeless?" she asked. "No it wasn't hopeless but I told her everything and she said she is gonna be here for me but as a friend, nothing more. I love her Hayden, I can't even imagine being without her, the last two years was really hard for me to handle and I can't live the same shit again. I need her. I can feel the darkness in my veins and I don't wanna do something bad but I need her. Goddamn it! I love her so much." And I started crying. Hayden held me in her arms and said "Everything's gonna be okay, she loves you."


End file.
